Those of you that know me well know I like a good challenge. So, I decided about a month ago that I would teach myself German. Ok, I know it is almost impossible to teach yourself a language if you don't have anyone to talk to and you are learning it through German TV shows and music. But all I can say is...I am having a great time.

In my quest I have bought German language CDS, dictionaries and verb conjugation books, but the most helpful things I have bought so far are a variety of German phrase books. They give me a great overview of the language as well as giving me actual phrases to practice. To be honest I don't know if I am saying the phrases right, but at least it makes me feel like I am accomplishing something.

In the interest of sharing the wealth I would like to share with you what I have learned from my various phrase book that might be helpful if you ever travel to a German speaking country.

Fertig? (Ready?)

First, it is important to be VERY honest about your identity to everyone you meet:














Second, it is important to know what topics of conversation to avoid, here are my suggestions of things NOT to talk about:


















If, however, you end up engaged in a conversation about these topics, here are some suggestions of phrases to use during the ensuing argument:
















If you manage to make it out of the argument without getting your ass kicked, you might even make a friend. Then you and said friend can go out and party it up a little, or a lot, if the following phrases are any indication:




















































On one of these exciting nights out you will invariably meet other human beings. Maybe one of these people will be interested in you in more that a "friendly" way.

Some of these people you will not be interested in:
















Now, telling people that you are an accountant will definitely scare off all but the most hardy of suitors, but if that does not work here are a few alternatives that should do the trick:

Ich bin ein teufelsanbeter (devil worshiper)
Ich bin ein terrorist (just what is looks like)
Ich bin ein republikaner (republican)

On the other hand, you might like someone and want to make your intentions known:













which leads to:













Which leads to:

NOTE: The following phrases should be MEMORIZED before they are needed. It would be extremely distracting to have to find and look up the phrase "Fuck Me Harder" while engaged in the actual act.

















This will lead to the need for the following phrases:













Oh, yes, how many times have I said "That was weird" after sex? Too many times, my friends, too many times.

Here are some additions phrases that should get you through almost any social situation:


At the hairdresser:













At the dentist:













And finally at the park (hopefully accompanied by a baby or child)













So there you go, all you need to know to travel the world!

Good luck with that....

Here are a couple odds and ends that I have been collecting.

Enjoy!

Here is a book I found that is a lot of fun. I have been having a great time reading it.

















And yes, it is a book about bastards throughout history.


And here is a great dedication in a little park in my home town of Alameda, CA.
Oh, if only I had friends that loved me this much...
(if you can't read it well, it says; "In Memory of My Dumb Friends")

Rob Thomas
Paramount Theater

We almost didn't go to this show, which is a huge thing for us since we love concerts. We were both SO exhausted from traveling, work and the NIN concert the night before that we almost decided to skip this one. We actually flipped a coin. Heads we go, tails we stay home. Flip. Heads. So off we go.

We had a bitch of a time finding parking since the theater is in downtown Oakland. But we finally found a spot and headed to the theater. We had purposely headed out late since the opening act was Anna Nalick and neither Tina or I like her.

Believe it or not I had not been to the Paramount theater before, I know, a theater that I had not been to? Yeah, I was surprised too. This a great place with an old fashioned charm. It is beautifully restored and done in the art deco style.

I am really glad we decided to go. Rob Thomas was really on that night and played a really rocking set. He played all his new stuff with some Matchbox Twenty songs thrown in for good measure. His band was great and he was as cute and charming as ever. We even got see two ladies almost throw down in our ails during the show...Not what you expect with this crowd...How exciting! :)

Fun stuff and I went home even more tired, but happy.

Nine Inch Nails
Queens of the Stone Age
Oakland Arena


We were supposed to see NIN on September 29th but it was postponed until November 19th because the drummer was having heart problems, so I was very excited to finally be seeing them. We had seem an abbreviated show of theirs at Coachella and I had really liked it. I had not been a huge fan before then, I had know their main hits but did only owned one CD. After seeing them live I went out a bought everything I could get my hands on and have been listening to them ever since.

Tina came and got my about 7:30 and we headed out to the arena which is only a few miles from my house. When we got there we started looking for the special "Spiral" entrance for fan club members. After a few false starts we found it at the side of the Arena. We got our tickets at will call and headed in. I am really glad I remembered my ear plugs, this was an especially loud show. QOTSA were already playing. I am not a huge fan of this band and it didn't help that live them kind of played like a jam band and would play the same song for 15 minutes with instrumental parts for about 10 of those minutes. Not my style at all. We did have a good time looking at all the people and reading all the t-shirts. It was like band t-shirt heaven.

Finally NIN came on. All I can say is it was a fantastic show. Very straight ahead, little on theatrics and big on the rock! They had a cool stage set and a curtain that would go down in front of them at a point in the middle of the concert when they were playing some of their slower songs. It was almost see through so you could still see the outline of the band but see the images that were projected onto the screen. It was really cool. They played about 5 songs like that with images of flocks of animals and people flowing into images of was and destruction. It got the message home without saying a word. I was very impressed. Trent was also much more animated during this show than I remembered him being at Coachella. He danced and moved around the stage a lot more. That was great to see. Trent didn't talk much, which is what I expected. There were only a few thank yous, fuck yeas and he did thank us for coming back and apologized for the concert delay.

I left there exhausted, my back and knees were killing me from standing on the cement on floor, but I was so happy to finally see this band in a full concert.

I have been in the Seattle area working, and I will be here until the end of December. I had my first day off and decided to go to the wharf and to Pike's market. I had a nice day, excluding the part where I got lost in downtown Seattle. I went to Ye olde curiosity shop on the wharf which mostly has crappy souvenirs, but does have a weird little section at the back with real shrunken heads, two modern mummies (mummified by natural causes) and a fine selection of other animal and human freakage. I bought some very fun mummy and shrunken head floaty pens and took a few pictures. I then hiked up the hill to Pike's market. This is a very nice market with every imaginable food stuff and lots of crafty stuff to buy. I bought some amazing pears and raspberries that tasted like the were grown in the summer. I then went out of the market to the street and bought handmade cheese and fresh bread to make a proper feast. I decided to go home at this point so hiked back down the hill to my car and drove the 20 minutes back to my hotel.


Here are some pictures:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/mayitaazul/sets/1442624/

I went to my first Sharks game in two years tonight. I was so happy that hockey was back on after the last season being cancelled. When I lived in San Jose my friend Lita and I would go to up to 10 games a season, so I have been missing my Sharks.

The Sharks were playing the Minnesota Wild. The Sharks lost 3-1. Bummer. But I had a great time with my friend Lita and got out a lot of aggression yelling at the teams and cheering on the fights. We also had our great seats again (about 20 rows up from the penalty box on the lower level) So even though they lost I left the arena very happy.

GO SHARKS!

Here are some photos I took at the game:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mayitaazul/sets/1442487/